It is said that priorities change over the course of your life. I believe that is true, to an extent. But, I also believe that friends and family should always remain a priority. When we are younger, our friends come and go as our lifestyle changes and we grow. By the time we are in our mid thirties, we have pretty much figured out who we are and what we want out of life. We also know what we want from our friendships and what we want to give back to our friends.
Sometimes I wonder if “Sex and the City” has given me an unrealistic expectation about my friendships. These four women are always a phone call away. The four of them are always going out together. They get together at ‘Coffee Shop’ for brunch on Sunday mornings. They are together even when they are romantically involved with men. They meet in pairs for lunch. Occasionally one of them has other plans and it is just three. Throughout it all, they nurture and cherish their relationships with one another. It is beautiful, and it just may be unrealistic.
I would love to have that kind of access to my friends. I rarely see them and it is really starting to bother me. I try to nurture and build my relationships with them. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one calling to make plans. When we are together everyone says how great it is and how we should make it a point to see each other more often…but, it never seems to happen.
Do I expect too much from my friends? Maybe I do, but I really don’t think so. I don’t see how a friendship can flourish without attention and contact. Only one of my friends is a phone person, Nina could spend hours on the phone….mostly when she is driving for hours to and from work. It’s never been my thing. I like to meet in person. I like to see the person I am talking to. I want to read body language and experience the relationship with all of my senses.
Do I expect them to be able to drop everything and get together for brunch? Sort of, I expect them to set aside two hours for brunch, but only once a month. This year, I decided it was time to cultivate my friendships after conversation after conversation with each friend about how we never see each other and we should get together more…so, I decided to plan a monthly brunch for my girlfriends and we all agreed to commit the time to attend.
In February, Michelle, Natasha and her daughter Siena, and I met at ‘Crepes et Crepes’ in LoDo. Nina didn’t make it. The second month only I showed up. The third month Michelle and Nina and I met at ‘Great Beginnings’ near Parker. And last month Michelle and I met at ‘Mimi’s Café’ in Highlands Ranch at Nina’s suggestion but she and Natasha didn’t show up. Obviously, my plan isn’t working out very well.
Now, we always have a great time and I love seeing any of my girls, but I don’t understand why we all can’t get together? What is standing in our way?
It seems that work, men, kids, money, and logistics get in our way.
On “Sex and the City” the ladies live in Manhattan, which is a is a tiny island covering just 33 square miles surrounded by the Metro area, which totals 6,720 square miles. The ladies are relatively close to one another. Even when Miranda moves to Brooklyn, she is just across the Brooklyn Bridge from Manhattan. Easy Access.
Denver is sprawling, it is spread out across 159 square miles while the entire Metro area covers 8,414 square miles. Michelle lives in Parker, which is 30 miles south east of downtown. Natasha lives in Idaho Springs, which is 35 miles west of downtown.
Nina lives in Highlands Ranch, which is 20 miles south of downtown. I live downtown.
Michelle has two daughters and works a classic nine to five. Her husband travels during the week and occupies most of her time on the weekends. Of all of us, she needs the girl time break the most! Natasha is a single stay at home mom. She lives with her parents and hates it. Nina works in the entertainment business right downtown, she has a nine to five but she occasionally has to work an event at night and on the weekends. I am a full time student and I work full time.
Even with the distances between us and the life stuff that gets in the way, we should be able to meet once a month!